Thursday, July 4, 2013

Free Day 7/3/2013

Breakfast with a view.
We all woke up feeling much better on Wednesday morning. We slept in until 5:30! After a good breakfast at the buffet, we headed to the local department store for some water, ramen and snacks for the girls. We got there early, watched some girls march around in uniform for a bit (more on this later), then sat on the steps
Waiting for the store to open.
for a while until we realized they didn't open until 9 a.m. so we headed back to the hotel. We got back to the
Marching girls.
department store just before 9 and heard the sound of a marching band playing. Hmm....that's
different! The girls we had seen earlier were now playing instruments and played a song to open the store. Someone really needs to talk to Target corporate about this, I can really see it catching on in the states.

We bought some ramen for the girls to have for lunch and Margaret was very impressed that there is an entire aisle of the grocery store dedicated to just ramen. Ella is barely tolerating our shenanigans at
this point, haha! Welcome to the family my dear!

We went back to the hotel, had some lunch and then we took the girls swimming. Getting through the fitness center and into the pool is not easy here, it involved signing in, buying swim caps, going into the dressing room and walking through a shallow pool of water to clean our feet before entering the pool, but we got 'r done. Stay tuned for pictures of me looking hot in a swim cap. Sorry boys, this old lady is taken.

Testing the temp.

Ella is not sure she wants to get in.

Barely tolerating this.

Taking some time to get used to the water on her own terms.

Becoming more comfortable.

Hmmm....maybe this pool with mama thing isn't all that bad.

This might actually be fun!!

This trip to the pool was all part of my evil plan to get her to trust me, and I think it worked!!
See Ella! Mama didn't let you sink to the bottom! Are we good?

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Daniella Ding's Adoption Day 7/2/13

I'm sorry that I haven't updated the blog since Monday, it's been tough to keep up with blogging and Facebooking and parenting. This adoption is so different from Margaret's. Maggie was so young and had no idea what was going on, she grieved hard for a few days, but then was better and we moved on. Not that it was easy, it was still hard and it took months to really settle her in, but it was a simpler process. Ella is a tougher nut to crack. She likes us (most of the time) and I think she knows that this is the best for her but she is old enough to realize everything she is losing too. She would prefer to turn on soap operas and lose herself in the TV or a game on the tablet. We have been letting her have the time to do that, I understand her need to disconnect, but I also feel she needs to be brought back into the fold. We have set limits on TV time and screen time, but they are still on them a lot. It is so stinking hot here, we don't go out much past 10 a.m. or so and we are running out of things to do in the room. Yesterday was 99 and windy, today will be 95 and windy, repeat repeat repeat.
So - let's start back where we left off. Tuesday morning we woke up around 4:30 and Ding came into our room not much after. She sat on the end of our bed, but wouldn't come closer. We hung out for a bit until Margaret woke up and they played and watched TV, I helped Ella and Margaret pick out their clothes and get dressed and then we all went to breakfast. I helped Ella get all her food and got her situated at the table. We've been trying to get her to stop being so independent and to say "mama help" when she needs my help. It's been slow, she just really wants to do things for herself and sometimes I'm not her favorite person, but we are going to keep on trying. I feed her, I dress her, I bathe her (whether she wants me to or not).

We met our guide down in the lobby at 9:00 and headed back to Civil Affairs to officially adopt Ella. The girls were doing well there, Ella was smiling as our guide put her hand print put on the adoption docs.
Margaret and Ella were playing with the other girls being adopted that day. One little cutie is also from Xiaoxian, but had been in care up by Beijing, the other girl was from Bengbu.
We visited the registrar down the hall and he asked us questions like "how long have you been married?", "do you have biological children?" and "why do you want to adopt a child from China?". That one was easy - I told him Anhui girls are the best, but Xiaoxian girls are even better. He asked us if we promised to always care for her and to never abandon her, and we of course said, "Yes! We promise!" We went back into the conference room and waited to meet with the notary. Ding was called over by the SWI Director and he said something to her that made her cry. She just stood there with big silent tears rolling down her face. I have no idea what he said, it could have been as innocuous as "you'll never see us again". We may never know. All I know is that my heart broke in two for our sweet girl right then and there. I pulled her to me and put her on my lap, wiped her tears and just poured as much love as I could onto her. She was stiff and still crying silently. It was so
She is officially ours!
hard. She cried for a few more minutes and we tried to distract her with the camera on Bryan's phone.  We then went to meet with the notary, she asked us the same questions and made sure all of our documents were signed and in order. We had to wait in the conference room for our official adoption documents to be given to us and then we were allowed to leave.

After we got back to the room, I was not feeling well at all so I had to lay down. Traveling to China with a gluten intolerance is a risk (heck eating anywhere outside of my house is a risk) and I must have eaten something I shouldn't have at breakfast. I was having only neuro problems from the gluten (bad mood, fatigue, dizziness, restless leg syndrome) and Ella bore the brunt of me not feeling well. She had grabbed my camera without asking (we're still working on this) and I took it from her and told her no. She then grabbed Bryan's camera instead and I yelled at her. She started crying again and I felt so bad for her. It was such an emotional day and I was not being the parent she needed. I apologized to her, but the damage was done, she did not like me for a long time after that. I went into the girl's room to sleep and Bryan hung out with the girls in our room for the rest of the afternoon. They played Twister and games on the tablets and watched Chinese soap operas. Bryan snapped this photo of Ella while I was sleeping, she liked him that day.

We hung out in the room the rest of the day and ordered in room service. I had a Kind bar and some fruit for dinner, the girls shared a bowl of spaghetti. We watched TV and put the girls to bed at 8:00.

Adoption - the hardest best thing we've ever done.

p.s. Margaret and I have been role-playing how to ask for things. She will point to the camera and say "mama please?" and I will say "OK" and give it to her. We then have Ding do it. This is helping.

Monday, July 1, 2013

We Have Our Girl!

Over 6 years ago, we were given a camera with pictures of Margaret at the XiaoXian orphanage with her guai guai next to her. Today we brought her guai guai Ding home, tomorrow she is ours forever.

We arrived early to the Civil Affairs office and were lead to a room on the 4th floor. The Orphanage Director and Deputy Director Wang were waiting for us with Ding. We have no pictures or video of the moment we met because we weren't expecting them to be there!

Pictures from the Civil Affairs office:

Ding with Deputy Director Wang
Sisters! Ding Dang and Mao Mao

Registration Photo for our Adoption Certificate tomorrow.

She is a little peanut of a thing, exactly the same size as Margaret even though she's 15 months older. She was really quiet at first, but blossomed over lunch at the Noodle Restaurant. If you were following our trip to Margaret 6 years ago, you'll remember that those noodles are magical. The noodle bowls were huge and she finished it! She ate more than her baba - I was impressed! (and also a little worried that she was going to be sick) She ate the first half of her noodles with her chopsticks, but switched to a fork to be like Margaret. She rambles on to us and tells us things in Chinese and I just look at her and say "I have no idea what you are saying sweet pea!" And she'll just keep talking and I heard her say "mama bu shuo zhong wen" (mama doesn't speak Chinese). Mama speaks enough Chinese to understand that - so there!

 Having Margaret here has really helped with her transition. She taught Ding how to play Temple Run on the tablet and we are already limiting screen time for both of them. They watched Chinese soap operas together, played Twister and Legos, played with hair clips and looked over Ding's English workbook. She knows "thank you", "WC", "you're welcome" and "banana". Now that she has been playing Temple Run with Margaret, she knows the word JUMP!! She willingly shares her things with Margaret and Margaret can't figure out why. I told her Ding's being a good sister to her, now take the toy and say xie xie!
TWISTER!! Fun in any language!
We ordered dinner from room service and found a nice grocery store behind the hotel. Ding had a bath and I was told she would need help shampooing her hair. I'm not sure what she's used to, but this mama does NOT have the magic. She got upset and cried a little bit when she got a bit of water on her face. I rubbed her back and told her she was doing a good job and when I toweled her off I kissed her on the head. She looked up at me like she was surprised.
Ding, you are a wonderful, sweet and beautiful girl. We are going to work hard so that you will never be surprised by affection again.

We put the girls to bed at 8:30. Gave them both hugs and kisses and told them wo ai ni. It's been a good day. She is so brave. They both are.